hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
