She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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