Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
