Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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