Ambien. No doubt about it.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
