If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
