I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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