We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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