Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
