my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
