Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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