yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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