he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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