she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
