I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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