he shaved USA in his pubs
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
this is an emotional support booty call
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