do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
