things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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