yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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