Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
