i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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