come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
