the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
