dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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