Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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