My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
