terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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