Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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