chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
