Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
