There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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