My room smells like vodka and shame
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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