operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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