I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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