so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
