direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
