I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize