Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
