After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
