I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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