Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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