plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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