It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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