if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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