and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
