Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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