pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
