Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize