I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
