on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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